Divorce is often a very intense and emotional process. Spouses who choose to file for divorce or who feel blindsided by a filing often let their emotions govern their behavior. Their negative feelings toward one another can lead to a far more contentious divorce.
As the level of conflict increases, spouses may say and do things that ultimately prove damaging for everyone involved. Some people now seek to avoid contentious divorces by cooperating with one another at the end of a marriage. Collaborative divorce is one of several alternatives to a contested, litigated divorce.
Why do many spouses make the effort to work collaboratively instead of resolving their disagreements in family court?
1. Collaborative divorce provides even footing
Spouses may begin the divorce process by promising to work together. However, as disagreements intensify, one may back out of that prior commitment to cooperation. They may show up to court with a lawyer and may try to gain an advantage over the other spouse.
Collaborative divorce proceedings require a written commitment to resolve matters outside of court. Spouses cannot simply lie about their intentions without consequence in a collaborative divorce scenario. If they back out of the arrangement to work together, they usually have to begin the whole process over again, often with a new attorney.
2. Spouses have more control
Litigated divorces rely on a judge’s interpretation of the situation. A judge looks at financial matters and family circumstances when settling disputes related to property division and parenting time.
People who have specific priorities regarding parenting or property decisions may find that collaborative divorce gives them enhanced control over the outcome. They have the capability of compromising regarding certain disagreements in favor of pushing for the terms that matter the most to them.
3. Collaborating can keep things amicable
Divorce does not always lead to a clean break where spouses never interact again. If they share children with one another, continued interactions for the rest of their lives are likely. If both spouses belong to the same country club or church, their overlapping social circles can create opportunities for conflicts and personal setbacks for years after divorce occurs.
Spouses who work together to settle disagreements peacefully can maintain a positive or at least neutral relationship with one another. That calmer dynamic can be beneficial when they see each other after the divorce.
Collaborative divorce proceedings have the potential to be faster and less costly than litigated divorces. They provide spouses with more privacy. There are myriad benefits that spouses can potentially derive from a collaborative divorce instead of a litigated one. Exploring different approaches to divorce proceedings can be beneficial for those on the cusp of filing.